Alice in Wonderland

Bin Laden Porn Stash

They found Bin Laden's Porn Stash and people just took off with making up names. Here is a list of some of my favorites. You can find the link to the news site here or go to Twitter and type in #BinLadenPornStash.

72 Virgins, 1 cup

Bomb Ass Pussy

Anal Qaeda

Take Control of My Cockpit

Iraqi Butt Cracky

Persian Rug Munchers

Burqake

Poked in the Eye

You Mecca Me So Horny

Exploding Packages

Saddam and Gomorrah

Lawrence of A Labia

Sand Jobs

Two in the Pink, One in the Sphinx

Girls with Hot Ankles

Weapons of Ass Destruction

Prayer Rug Burns

There are so many more… You use your imagination.

Christian Curve Ball

These were my two favorite but the link is here if you want more.

Curve Ball For Christians

Next time you're in a healthy discussion with a theist.

Throw them this, and see how they react.

[If they have children]

---

Is there anything your child could do that would make you torture them forever?

[If they don't have children]

---

If, when you have children, Is there anything your child could do that would make you torture them forever?

---

You probably see where i am going here.

---

Hopefully they answer "No"
[If they don't - probably call the authorities]

---

Assuming a "No"
Then proceed to ask..

---

How come you can show that mercy on your child, but god cannot show that on mankind (his children)?

---

• Does this make you more forgiving and loving than god?
• Does this mean you have a higher sense of morality than god?

Finish with

---

How can someone who claims to promote unconditional love - do so conditionally - in the form of sadomasochism?


Born Into Sin?

To show a christian just how Sick and Wrong their religion is,
Ask them these linear questions:

---

Question #1
Are we born into sin?

If They Answer:
Yes - Continue to Question #2

No - Do you believe in original sin?

• Yes, Then you agree with Question #1
• No, Then jesus isn't a saviour, or a messiah - as there is no need for such.

---

Question #2

Are the wages of sin, an eternity in hell?

Yes, Continue to Conclusion

If "Literal Hell" comes into the equation,

Just use the non-literal [Separation from god]

---

Conclusion

So, a new born baby is born into sin, and as such, deserves an eternity in hell.


I don't know about you guys, but when i look at a baby, i see a wonderful bundle of amazement and joy - not a creature in deserving of eternal torture..

Cat Reacts to 2 Girls 1 Cup

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Godless Comedy from That Mitchell and Webb Look - Abraham and Isaac

Dance interpretation of "Torn" by David Armand

Other funny stuff

Mash up time!

2 Pumpkins 1 Cup

Picture of the day

Here is your WTF picture of the day:

This is how I feel about it!

Another win from the Onion

New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion


Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate

Gotta love the Onion

New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke'

Landlord Joke

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

They are very small ducks.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. .

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.

Helen

Virgin? Mary

mentalfloss

Check out these and other shirts at mentalfloss.com

Lesbian Speed Dating

Thanks for this Eliot. So true!